all american family dinner
- mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked
- son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice
- mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy
- son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY
- dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.
- son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?
- dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken
- mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.
- son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!
- dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend
- son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition
God I love Tumblr.
THE LAST FUCKING ONE
“ These are forms of male aggression that only women see. But even when men are afforded a front seat to harassment, they don’t always have the correct vantage point for recognizing the subtlety of its operation. Four years before the murders, I was sitting in a bar in Washington, D.C. with a male friend. Another young woman was alone at the bar when an older man scooted next to her. He was aggressive, wasted, and sitting too close, but she smiled curtly at his ramblings and laughed softly at his jokes as she patiently downed her drink. ‘Why is she humoring him?’ my friend asked me. ‘You would never do that.’ I was too embarrassed to say: ‘Because he looks scary’ and ‘I do it all the time.’
Women who have experienced this can recognize that placating these men is a rational choice, a form of self-defense to protect against setting off an aggressor. But to male bystanders, it often looks like a warm welcome, and that helps to shift blame in the public eye from the harasser and onto his target, who’s failed to respond with the type of masculine bravado that men more easily recognize. ”
“ A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything. ”
Irish proverb (via dpools)
“ Be someone’s Sunday, not Saturday night. ”
this is comedy fucking gold you assholes
YOU LITTLE SHIT
Tack the city of townsville???????????
Attack on the city of townsville!
IS UNDER A TACK
UNDER A TACK
In honor of back-to-school.
this hit me so hard
Alice Cooper is AWESOME!
I was just thinking of this commercial a couple weeks ago.